If I Could Choose...

Ah, what a great feeling! Back to the wagon at last! I took a week vacation, and to be honest.. it wasn't fun. Even if I was eating stuff I wanted with no restriction to calories, I realized I wasn't satisfied by the taste of the foods I chose. In the past when I felt guilty about eating something, the taste of food would still be good, but this time it had nothing to do with guilt, and the food was not as tasty as it was in the past. How strange! Was the food different? I guess....I am just finally changing.

As I told you before, I have been working on some cognitive changes on myself. I believe that what makes me want to eat the high caloric foods that I eat, is the thoughts I have, and the feeling I've suppressed for so long. For years I would "tell" myself I needed food to feel calm, or to compensate for some sort of crap that had happened to me. For the last couple of years, I am putting a lot of effort on unlearning these habits and thought patterns, and learning new healthy thoughts that will lead to healthy choices and habits. I think it is actually working! For the past 4 days, I have been craving all sort of healthy things. I am craving watermelon, strawberries, salad, exercising, jogging! Who would thought something like this actually happens? The problem is that the old thoughts still whisper in my ear "get me chocolate", "I need to rest", "I need something yummy". However, in the past I would have the thoughts that I needed to do something healthy, but they were just thoughts. Now they are cravings, and the thoughts about the caloric foods are not cravings anymore, they are just thought. There's improvement right there!

So now that I am back on the wagon, I will pay more attention to the new cravings, and when the crappy thoughts come, I will just let them go, don't worry, don't give them power. I am looking forward to see what will happen when I use the OCD technique on it! Because even if I am craving healthy things, now... cravings are still a sign of compulsion, and that's what I want to change.

My dear cyber-unknown friends.... I am happy that life is so full of uncertainties. Can you imagine how boring life would be if we knew everything that was going to happen? Vive la Difference! La Vie est Belle!

See you soon
Love, always
Me